Once upon a park bench

Wednesday was voting day at the embassy. I woke up feeling very American. Good morning patriots! We got on the subte to go to Palermo. We walked a bit and then found the embassy. There was a huge line of Americans – most around my age or younger, probably here studying for the semester. And guess what I saw. 4 Greek sweatshirts. Like with the block letters. That you only wear for freshman year. I saw ATO, Pi Phi, Delta Gamma, and another one I didn’t recognize. (Sadly, I saw no KD sisters to exchange nautiluses with but AOT anyway.) Luckily our amigo Erik was already way up in the line so we just merged in by him. We went through security and walked in. Welcome home! There were red, white, and blue balloons. A bass brand playing. Starbucks. McDonalds. Northface jackets. Flip-flops. Blonde hair. America!

We ransacked the food tables, observed, and finally got in line to vote. The ambassador spoke for a few minutes. We filled out forms and stood in lines and finally dropped our envelopes in the big mailbox. After you voted, they even gave you a blue sticker with the American flag on it that said “I voted absentee!” (Mucho like Ole Miss and the I Voted – now leave me alone sorority clans – sticker)

The form was so basic – like maybe I just typed this up on my own computer and called it a ballot. I thought it would be much more official. I never even showed my passport! Hopefully the registrar of voters office in Ouachita Parish will get my vote. My absentee ballot still hasn’t arrived (or my debit card more importantly…) so I don’t know. That vote was more of a precaution “Federal Write In Ballot”. We shall see. I served my patriotic civil duty all the way from Argentina. You best be voting as well.

On the campaign front from BA, I would say there is absolutely no contest. Maybe McCain will get 3 votes. Maybe. It’s ObamaRama down here. Even the cab drivers are for Obama.

After the embassy, I went with Santa Barbara to the park. We found a lovely lake that you can paddleboat on. We lingered and absorbed the nature. Then we walked to the other part of Palermo that I love with all the good restaurants and shopping. We ate at Mark’s Deli (big big salads). We sat outside eating and the weather was great. Then Santa Barbara headed back to the dorm and I went to the botanical gardens to read.

So begins the saga of the park bench.

I settled down on a lovely bench in the botanical gardens. I observed people, read a bit, observed some more, watched one of the 60000 feral cats, read, observed, etc. After about 34 minutes, this dude came and sat on my bench. He was probably in his early 30s. There are probably 50 benches in the park, many of which were unoccupied. So clearly he was coming over just to talk to me. Duh. I could hardly concentrate on my book just waiting for him to say Hola bonita, de donde sos? Well, after sitting there for about 30 minutes, 4 semi eye contact moments, 3 sighs, and 2 leg repositionings, the hombre left. Oh the one who got away…

And I really wish he had stayed due to what happened next.

So I’m alone on my bench still reading and watching. When people walk by I smile at them (totally freaking them out as the only people who do this are American, no not even, they’re Southern). This old man sits on the bench across from me. He is such a cute little grandpa. He’s wearing corduroy pants, a sweater, loafers, and smoking Marlboro Reds. So cute. We make eye contact and then he gets up and comes over. He stands in front of me, asks my name and where I’m from, what I’m doing here, and if he can sit down.

I’m so internally stoked that I am making a little park friend. I am already seeing us hanging out in the park in the future or having coffee or basically recreating The Holiday with Kate Winslet and the little cute Jewish movie writer man. I see Miami reunions in the future.

I’m rocking the Spanish and he talks slow so it’s great. It’s like I found the perfect conversation partner. He tells me how lovely I am and how pretty my eyes are – this isn’t that uncommon here- they love to compliment the ladies. I tell him all about my family, friends, Ole Miss, America, the residencia, my internship. He then gives me his “card” which is basically a wedding calligraphy thing with his name and phone number. Just in case I ever need anything in the city or whatever (this also is common. People in cafés or at the gym or whatev always chat us up and ask if we need anything). We chat for about an hour and then he suggests we walk around a bit to a sunnier spot because it’s a bit chilly.

So we get up and he grabs onto my arm. I’m thinking, oh, old man just needs help walking. We go to another, much more secluded, bench and sit down. I wrap my hands in my sweater because I’m cold. He notices and says, “Oh are your hands cold? Well I have warm hands” and proceeds to interlock fingers with me and rest our hands on my thigh. (I’m shuddering just recounting this to you). And he’ll hold my hand but also at the same time do that thumb rub thing… oh god it was so awful.

So I’m holding hands with a man in his late seventies on a bench in the botanical gardens. All of a sudden the “Oh we can go have coffee, get a drink, have dinner, go to my family home in the country” talk is freaking me out. I ask him about his family and he tells me, “Well, I have been divorced now for a year, but now I have you and we can be together.”

TIME OUT.

So the whole time we have been chatting and I have been just agreeing with whatever and thinking I am Kate Winset I have really been agreeing to have relations with grandpa.

Get me out of here.

I take my hand from his and grab for my cell phone. I tell him a just got a message from my Norwegian roommate and have to go with her to dance class (What??? I don’t even know where this came from???) He asks when and I say right now. Got to go, abuelo.

I get up and he offers to walk me to the street. We get about 4 feet from it and I take off running to avoid saying goodbye. I sprint to the subte (don’t know why I’m running, old man could never catch me, he can hardly walk) and get to my residencia.

Oh the horror. It went from cute old man conversation partner Holiday style to Carrie Bradshaw in the Vogue closet with the old dude with his pants down showing her the Armani underwear, in about 5 seconds. I am scarred. For life. This was so far beyond the pervy old man at the wedding reception whose hand dips a little low while you’re dancing. And now I have this suspicion that he’s waiting for me outside because I told him exactly where I live.

He really thought I liked him. And looking back, it’s so funny. When he offered to take me to get a drink I basically screamed “yes” because I was so excited! Ewwww.

So I recovered from Park Bench Perv for a while and then went to the theater to see Flores de Acero (Steel Magnolias). It’s been on for about a month and is closing next week. I bought a student ticket for 30 pesos. I got there and waited outside along with many elderly friends (what’s with me and the geezers). We went in. My seat was center on the third row. I made friends with the couple next to me. The play was great. It’s quite different than the movie. Much more super comedy and then super tragedy. I didn’t get lots of the jokes as they were in super fast Spanish but I held on quite well. The whole thing took place in a hair salon. There wasn’t much talk of Louisiana but they were definitely “Southern”. Big hair. Gossip. Home sweet home.

Today I slept in and went to my internship. When I got there Palo informed me that all of the computers were broken and that they would call me as soon as they needed me. So basically I will maybe go back in a month. Oh Argentina. How do you get anything done?

This weekend we are going to Tigre for a day and doing some more exploring. Danielle’s birthday is Monday so we’re going to celebrate from tonight on.

I know big things are happening in America too. Not just the economy situation, which I am well aware of, as it’s all anyone, talks about here. Adrea and Chase are getting married. Now, I was there when it all began on SB2K6 aboard the Mariner of the Seas. I am so sad to miss it but know that it will be the wedding of cruise reunion century. Chalt flava. Ahoy mates! Sing a Jimmy song and drink a 7 dollar Corona for me!

I'm really going to miss the botanical gardens. Clearly I can never. ever. go. back.

Adios. – Char






After voting at the embassy
















The card from the perv.